


Dec 15

by dizzy



Series: Crisscolfer Advent 2015 [15]
Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5437472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fooling around in bed for hours, but not actually doing much. Mostly just chatting and enjoying being close; their conversation interspersed with kisses and touches and playfully flipping the other over so that they end up on bottom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dec 15

Chris has been with guys.

He's had flings. Hookups. Affairs. He's fallen in love, though it's never quite worked out. His life is complicated. So are his relationships. 

So why is it easy right now? Why is it easy with Darren, when by any rights he should be the biggest complication of them all? 

Why does the world reduce down to nothing when it's just the two of them in bed, trading lazy kisses and unhurried touches? 

*

"Like your eyes," Darren says. "Like your lips." 

He leans down and kisses them. 

Chris curls a finger around the back of his neck, short curls just barely tickling his knuckles. "Like your everything." 

*

It's never been like this before for Chris. It's never been this slow and syrupy haze of emotion. He's never felt lighter than air just to be sharing space with someone. He's never felt like the stroke of a hand down his arm held all the comfort of a heavy blanket on a cold night. 

He's never felt home like this before. He's never hoped so much that he can be the same for someone else. 

Maybe it's just Darren, though. Maybe this is just Darren's gift. Maybe Chris is an idiot and one day this bubble will burst. 

But not right now. Right now there is nothing beyond the newness of this, locked in a room in a house where no one is around to interrupt them and no one can try to pull them apart. 

* 

"Feels good," Darren gasps. It's heavy, intense, but not frantic, not yet. 

Chris slides a foot up the back of his calf, twines their bodies one bit closer together. "Yeah, yeah." 

"Fuck." Darren groans low. Chris can feel the sweat gathering between his shoulder blades, fingers stroking but not in a hurry. "You're so fucking-" 

" _Yeah,_ " Chris whispers, on a little laugh. 

* 

He wants to ask if Darren is his his boyfriend. He wants to hold hands over the breakfast table and play footsie on set. He wants to command every moment of Darren's time, he wants to know it's his without having to say. 

He wants every high school fantasy he ever had about what being in a relationship was all about. 

He can't have that. Even if they were the right age, even if in some alternate universe they met back then and were that, they're not know. Reality doesn't bend, not even for the rich and the beautiful, not for them. 

So he thinks about what he can have, and he catalogs it all, makes a list in his head to remind himself of what all belonged to him in case one day it doesn't any more. 

* 

"Oh, shit, I love this scene!" 

They're eating cereal straight out of the box and watching South Park, because even men in their prime need a break once in a while. 

Chris has seen this episode a few times. He doesn't usually enjoy the humor of this show all that much, but he definitely could learn to cultivate an appreciation for anything that makes Darren smile so his eyes crinkle up like that. 

"Don't get crumbs on my sheets," he says. 

* 

They tell each other secrets and stories. Sometimes it's just a verbal wander through topics, darting here and there, feeding off each other's recollections. Sometimes it's a quiet confession, a show of trust. 

Chris wants to know Darren. He wants Darren to know him. He wants to put the ugliest parts front and center, because he knows if Darren sees those and doesn't flinch that Chris might be able to really trust him to stick around after all. 

No one's stuck around before. 

But Darren's different. Darren's so different and wonderful and Chris has no reason to expect this situation to have any other outcome than the last or the one before it, but he looks in Darren's eyes and all he sees his hope and maybe something that might one day be love. 

(Maybe already is.) 

* 

They laugh so much that sometimes they stop doing anything but. 

Chris shrieks with giggles, face red and sweaty. Darren's chest is heaving, his legs still kicking up. 

It's so ridiculous that Chris just has to kiss him again. 

"Gonna keep you here forever," he threatens, pushing Darren onto his back and straddling him. They're naked, but that's almost incidental. There's an intimacy in non-sexual nudity that Chris is coming to appreciate so greatly. He just loves Darren's skin, warm and ruddy against his own. He just - loves. (Maybe. Probably. Yeah.) 

"Won't be hard," Darren says, and his eyes scrunch up and his mouth smiles like he means it and oh, Chris hopes he does.


End file.
